did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
