I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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