well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize