"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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