I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she peed on how many people?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
