Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
