what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
