uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
