the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
