Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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