my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
