Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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