i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize