So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
