Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
