Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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