Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
