The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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