Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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