I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
