Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
