Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
