Whod you bang
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
