is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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