Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
