I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i think i have herpe
just one?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
