We're like a lot better than the average bears
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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