If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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