You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
3pm strippers are depressing
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
