70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I need to calm my uterus...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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