I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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