we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
