So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
