my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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