Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?