Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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