i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me