The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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