it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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