I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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