margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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