need another drink. this is the easiest way
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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