I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
should my penis look like a turkey
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
