The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Semen is not good for contacts.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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