I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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