you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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