why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
