I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
