WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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