respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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