Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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