I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
