Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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