Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
