so that wasnt chicken after all
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Non-Jews are for practice
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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