Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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