Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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