I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
