But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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