Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
