Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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