you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
