I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
