Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
