3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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