I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
