My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
