all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
