The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
