I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
