So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
